Resolutions

Christmas at Grammy & Grandpa Miller's house

 After church we went over to my parent's house and the kids about died when they realized there were even more presents to open!  As usual, Grammy went crazy and spoiled them absolutely rotten.  Sean got a nice drill, and I got a sewing machine from them.  We all loved our gifts, and look forward to putting them to good use in our new home shortly!

Heading to Church

 Christmas got even better when Sean showed me the camera and he had successfully gotten the kids to take a cute picture together.  Getting them to do that has been impossible.  It was a Christmas miracle I tell you!

We went to my sister's ward because she was participating in their Christmas program.  So we got to sit with the whole family!  (Minus Brett and Max) 

During church another Christmas miracle occurred when I realized that Logan had literally not yelled, tried to escape, cried, or gone just plain crazy during the meeting.  Frosting on the cake people.  Rich, deluxe, gourmet frosting.

It just wouldn't be complete without a picture of them screaming, "CHEEEEEEEEEEESE!" at the camera

Christmas Morning

 Best.Christmas.Ever.

The looks on these 2 Little's faces were to die for!  I was more excited than they were I think...  

Santa sent an elf over to our house the night before Christmas Eve to start erecting Mara's doll house.  And boy, was that elf glad he started early!!  It took from about 8:00pm-Midnight.  Which meant we were free to enjoy a relaxing, calm, Christmas Eve together.  

 Logan was a bit confused at our enthusiasm so early in the morning.

 Mara jumped right up!  She knew what was happening!

 Does that look not melt your heart?  She was absolutely giddy seeing that dollhouse.

 Logan had fun dumping out his stocking

 All Mara asked for was a dollhouse, and a pretty dress.  She's such a girl, and I love it!

 Even though this picture isn't the best quality, I love that you can see both their super happy faces.

Logan got spoiled with a bunch of tracks to add to his stash, and some new trains to drive on them!

Cookies for Santa

 This is the first year we made cookies for Santa.  Sean is actually the one who thought of doing it.  Mara thought it was the coolest thing ever!

Before bed we set them out.  Lately the kids don't just say "cheese" when we take their picture, they YELL it.  It makes for some super funny pictures.

One word.

If I could pick one word to sum up the past 4 1/2 months of my life, it would be: productive.

I find that word interesting because I didn't feel productive during those 4 months.  In fact, I often complained that I didn't feel like I was doing a very good job being a wife and mom.

My kids watched way too much T.V.  They got a lot more snacks that usual.  Mostly consisting of suckers.  Logan actually throws a fit if he doesn't have a sucker by 10a.m.  I realized just the other day that by Logan's age, Mara was a time-out pro, but Logan doesn't even understand the concept.

My house...well, I don't even want to go there.  Let's just say that I was doing laundry only when it meant we'd have to go naked if I procrastinated any longer.  I scrubbed my toiled maybe 3 times?  (If you are reading this mom, just pretend you didn't just hear that).  Don't worry I at least vacuumed and picked up toys daily.  Oh wait, yeah...that must've been a figment of my imagination.  Denial is very powerful.

But guess what?  I felt like I found myself.

I hear that is a common emotion when one finds the major they love.  But I think it means more than that.

I gave myself permission to let the little things go.  I didn't feel guilty when I'd cuddle up with a blanket and take a nap while Logan was napping and Mara was watching a movie.  In fact, I have some very precious memories now of my little Rue tucking me in tighter and giving me a kiss on the cheek when she thought I was out cold.

I cherished the moments I had with my kids when it was just me & them, instead of feeling overwhelmed when we hadn't seen Sean in 4 days.

The most ironic thing about all of this is that in the moment, I felt out of control.  In the moment, I felt overwhelmed, overworked, and underpaid.

During these 4 months I had 2 of the scariest medical situations in my life (aside from my lovely pregnancies).  I thought for sure that those things would derail me.  But they didn't.  They gave me more drive, more determination, more strength.


Don't worry, I'm no Saint.  I'm pretty sure I complained the entire way through it.  I felt like a bad mom at the time.  I felt like a slacker spouse.  I felt like a bad friend.  I even (gasp) resented certain obligations.

Isn't hindsight a beautiful thing?  I believe it to be the greatest gift.

Hindsight is allowing me to forgive myself for all the "bad" moments.  It's allowing me to see situations for what they really were, and it is allowing me finally understand that I'm human.

I'm just a human.  Making mistakes.  Just like everybody else.

Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam!

I've been working on some Christmas presents, but decided I'd share them on my blog.  They are in an 8 x 10 format.  Feel free to use them for your own personal use.  You do not have permission to sell them.  If you are family please don't print these up...because they just might end up under your Christmas tree!

P.S.  I am very well aware that I am not a professional, but I really enjoy playing around and figuring stuff out.